Ho-Oh Quest

I took one of my quests from pwo because chances are it wont happen on pwo so you guys can tell me what you guyz would think if i put this game into this game.

Ok so there is this guy in Azalea town, and he says he needs his charcoal in order to make Ho-Oh a ceremonial fire. So the charcoal guy has aprentices but they r all lost and scattered about the Johto Region. The aprentices r lost and cant get back, so u battle all 4 aprentices and they give u charcoal

EX:
Black Charcoal
Brown Charcoal
Ashen Charcoal
Burnt Charcoal

They can be scattered aroound the johto region anyway the pple with big roles in pwo wish to put them, and then once u get all 4 charcoal, u return them to the charcoal guy in azalea town and he will give u an item called Sacred Fire. So you then go to Ecruteak City , and you go to this man in front of the building that leads towards Tin Tower where Ho-Oh is. he realizes you have the sacred fire, so he lets you go to the tower. Then You go to the top of the tower and you battle an npc that has Ho-Oh and that will be the end of it.

I like it, but could it be a little bit more long? I am no writer expert but t would be better if it were some more sentences longer, anyways, I like it